Don't Like Your Car?  Drive This To Help You Appreciate What You Own

"Torque Affair" (torqueaffair) 11/07/2015 at 17:07 • Filed to: SMART CAR

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When you’re in a smart car, it feels like you’re in an adult version of a kid’s motorized toy car.

Instead of being in a battery-powered plastic toy with wheels, you are in a box on wheels with a small 3-cylinder gasoline engine, which is only slightly more powerful than a riding lawnmower.

I love driving cars - sports cars, high performance machines, supercars ( I’ve only driven two, but that’s besides the point ) - but I have also been unusually curious about a car that you would have to put a gun to my head for me to actually own: a smart car. I wondered - how bad could the experience be?

So I found one to drive around for a few days.

Immediate Deception

I assumed that the interior would be small and cramped judging by how the car looks on the outside. I was wrong.

There is a reason it’s called a smart car. Once you get in, the smart car is designed to make you think: “Ahhh, I’m actually in a full-sized vehicle!”

Nobody wants to feel like they’re in a gas-powered golf cart and so when you’re sitting inside the smart car, you can almost be convinced that you’re in a normal-sized vehicle.

Because you’ve been deceived, you have to keep reminding yourself of what you’re driving. It’s not obvious that you’re now in a car that ends a few inches in front of you and behind you. That means that if you get rear-ended or find yourself in an accident, it will be a painful one, since you will become the peanut butter between two pieces of bread that have been squished between the books inside a kid’s backpack.

Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn’t have driven at 70 mph on the freeway.

So Cheap

The smart car also redefines what it means to be a cheap car. The quality of the interior materials is so low that they appear to be sourced not from a dollar store, but a dime store (founded by the Dollar Store founder’s uber competitive brother), where everything costs 10 cents.

“Don’t pay a buck when you can pay a dime! Live cheap, be happy!”

The markings on the dash gauges look like they were hand-drawn by a 5-year old. I was fully expecting a knob or a dial to break off in my hand as I was manipulating things but fortunately that didn’t happen.

In all fairness, this is a 2008 smart car which is worth about $4K. It’s cheap although I think it’s still too much. $2000 is a more reasonable price for this vehicle, but for me to own one, someone would need to pay me that amount.

There is a weird red knob on the end of the wiper stalk. I have no idea what it is. My best guess is that it’s a “rescue button” in case you feel like you need to be saved from the smart car when you’ve had enough of it.

Driving A Smart Car

I wondered if I could even keep up with traffic in a 70 hp riding lawnmower with no blades. Surprisingly, I could - but it wasn’t easy. I had to use almost everything the car had to keep up with the other cars on the road but when I was on the freeway, the interior was filled with wind noise, road noise, tire noise along with the sound of the voice inside my head going: “Why the hell are you driving a Smart car when you could be driving a Kia Forte??”

There’s almost no suspension and so you feel every bump on the road. It’s jarring and will make you question every second that you’re in the smart car: “Why am I putting up with all this nonsense?”

With huge SUVs and supersized cars all around me, I thought being in a smart car would be intimidating but it wasn’t. And that’s because the smart car fools you into thinking that you’re driving something other than a mini-car.

You could be driving along, minding your own business, when a huge tractor trailer accidentally swerves into you, wiping you out in the process and sending you and your smart car rolling across the highway like tumbleweed.

Driving Problems

I hated this smart car’s automated manual transmission. There is a 5 second lag in between shifts and the car dips down so much from one gear to the next that you feel like it will tip over.

It already takes 2 hours to get from 0 to 60 mph and one hour of that is dedicated to the delays in between gear changes. I tried the paddles but it didn’t make much of a difference - with some careful control of the throttle the lurching was minimized a bit but not enough to make the driving experience any less annoying. A standard transmission smart car would’ve been so much better.

The other horrible aspect are the brakes. The brake pedal sticks out of the floor board, and like a bus you have to shove your foot down to floorboard to stop the car. The brakes are also not very good which means that you have to push down hard to get the car to slow down - even for something as tiny as this!

The smart car spares no effort in making you think that you could be driving a van, or a bus, or any vehicle that is twenty times the size of one you’re driving. It’s quite a strange experience. You’re driving such a little car that it should be a breeze to drive, but instead, the driving experience is far from effortless.

There are also no manual door locks! Here is an econobox where things look and feel so incredibly cheap with almost no luxuries whatsoever and it doesn’t even have something as basic as manually operable door lock switches. The key fob stopped working in the smart car I was driving which means that the alarm was set off every time I got into the car.

This was probably purposefully done to create yet another reason for you to have to take the car into the shop as much as you can.

The Three Benefits

Although there is much to be irritated about when it comes to the smart car, there are three advantages in driving one.

First is the turning radius of this car; it’s incredible. You’ll never need to do a 3-point turn with the smart car. Headed the wrong way? No problem. Just whip the car around wherever - narrow alley, crowded street, sidewalk - it doesn’t matter. Turn the wheel a few times and off you will go in the other direction.

The smart car is perfect for navigating populated, bustling city streets and making a bunch of U-turns to find that elusive open parking spot. This leads to the second benefit which is being able to park virtually anywhere.

Obviously, you don’t need much room to be able to park a smart car and being able to squeeze the car into tight spots is a great thing if you live, work or party downtown. I’m sure this car is great for somewhere like Manhattan where a 200 sq. ft bedroom/toilet will cost you a million dollars and hopefully owning half a car, like the smart car, will only cost you 100 dollars a day to park instead of 200 dollars a day.

But in Texas, where parking is generally not an issue, a smart car isn’t necessary. With parking spots like in the picture below, who needs a smart car?

I’ll take the LFA please. I think that’s a fair trade.

Finally, the biggest benefit of driving a smart car is that after spending some time in one, when you go back to your own car, you will have a newfound appreciation for it. Of course, that’s assuming that what you own isn’t a smart car already.

Driving the smart car is an irritating experience and just about anything you drive after this will feel so much better. So give it a shot - if you hate what you own, find a smart car to drive around for a while and then get back into your own car. You’ll be glad you did it.

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pjhusa > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 17:12

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Paging Miss Mercedes!!

Berang > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 17:14

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“But in Texas, where parking is generally not an issue...”

You’re obviously not talking about the Austin part of texas.

TheHondaBro > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 17:15

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Don’t like your car? Dig this:

There are people who work two jobs just to make ends meet. A car is a luxury for them. They walk miles or take the bus to their jobs just so they can pay the bills. A Geo Metro with three wheels is a luxury for them.

Love your car. You’re lucky.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > TheHondaBro 11/07/2015 at 17:28

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I’d much rather spend $4000 and get a 10 year old Honda Civic than a smart car. I think that’s more the point of this post. The smart car sucks, even as a $4000 option. And Torque Affair is not wrong. I’ve driven one and I did not enjoy it.

Spoon II > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 17:29

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I actually really want to get one just for when the snow is down. It’ll be a tiny donut machine. Alternatively, there’s always that kit that jams a Hyabusa engine in it.

Berang > TheHondaBro 11/07/2015 at 17:29

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A good article might be taking away a car guy’s car for a couple months and seeing what they do.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 17:29

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With huge SUVs and supersized cars all around me, I thought being in a smart car would be intimidating but it wasn’t. And that’s because the smart car makes any occupants passively suicidal.

Fixed that for you

Torque Affair > TheHondaBro 11/07/2015 at 17:30

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Yeah, I mean it’s all relative right? Kids in Africa who walk 10 miles back and forth from school would love to have bikes.

Torque Affair > Berang 11/07/2015 at 17:31

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Depends on where in Austin - downtown is crazy, but almost everywhere else is mostly ok.

Torque Affair > Spoon II 11/07/2015 at 17:32

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Haha, I can’t imagine what that would feel like.

It would definitely be a great beater - super cheap.

Torque Affair > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 11/07/2015 at 17:32

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haha

Berang > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 17:43

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Compared to Dallas or Houston or San Antonio - still. I’m actually kind of glad about it though since it means there’s less stupid SUVs wasting parking space everywhere.

LongbowMkII > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 18:19

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you are aware that these are astoundingly safe correct?

Cé hé sin > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 18:23

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I hired a Mk1 Smart (700cc turbo, six speed automated box) once and I thought it was fine, gearbox included.

They don’t actually crumple up in a crash as they have to meet the same safety standards as anything else.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > pjhusa 11/07/2015 at 18:26

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Uh oh. If she sees my comment I’m going to be in some trouble.

pjhusa > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 11/07/2015 at 18:28

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True

Mercedes Streeter > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 18:44

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Ah Oppo, proving once again that perhaps not everyone knows their shit. Also, if you’re going to hate, at least:

A) Know your shit.

B) Not base your opinion on a car that will be 8 years old in a few months.

It’s like whining that an old ass Vista based PC is not as good as a brand new Windows 10 PC. It's asinine.

89,000 miles and I’d buy again in a heartbeat. Haters gonna hate!

Mercedes Streeter > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 11/07/2015 at 18:45

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Or, buy whatever you want and not hate on another person's ride?

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Mercedes Streeter 11/07/2015 at 19:38

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Ahaha. Yeah, you’re right and I knew that comment was coming. I responded to the Paging Miss Mercedes comment with “Uh oh. If she sees my comment I’m going to be in some trouble.”

I should have said this in my above comment, but I drove a 2007-ish smart fortwo (which is why I brought up the similarly aged and priced Civic) and I was unimpressed. I think they’re cool looking little cars and they serve an important purpose being able to squeeze into any parking spot in a crowded city but, in suburban Connecticut which is populated with giant SUVs, I didn’t like it. To say it sucks is unfair, but outside of its intended environment I just don’t see the point.

If you like it, which you do, that’s all that matters. My opinion certainly shouldn’t. After all, I like stance so my opinion on this site isn’t very highly regarded in the first place.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > Torque Affair 11/07/2015 at 23:50

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The brakes are also not very good which means that you have to push down hard to get the car to slow down - even for something as tiny as this!

Owner might want to get the brakes checked. The brakes in my 2013 Smart — and in every car2go Smart Fortwo I’ve driven — are firmly confidence-inspiring.

911e46z06 > Torque Affair 11/08/2015 at 03:14

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I saw a Brabus version yesterday. I laughed. Didn’t know what else to do.

RadarLove > Torque Affair 11/13/2015 at 11:25

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I feel offended! (No, not really ; ) I own a 16 years old mk1. Highways: you should never drive these on highways, I suppose. These are strictly city cars. Gearbox: easy to get used to it. Manual gear change is annoying, better to leave the shifting to the robot. Regarding its parking capabilities - I usually think of it as ‘superparkings’. And I can tell you, that I have to use them everyday. I had never thought of having one of these before. But as of now, I simply love it. More than any other car I had before.

SurvivedAPintoCrash > Torque Affair 11/13/2015 at 11:30

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Just bought a 2008 cabrio last week, very well maintained... thank you Kenny!

Downsized from an old Audi A8... yes, it’s not as comfortable, yes, the suspension is terrible, yes, the gearbox is not great... but living in NYC, I barely used the Audi, mostly to move it to the other side of the street, or on weekends when going out of the city.

Now, I couldn’t be happier. In this week have driven to the office in SoHo, and have found parking almost immediately. At night, I’ve parked right in front of my apartment most days. Before sometimes I had to park up to 4/5 blocks away...

And I’m usually the quickest on the West (West Side Highway that is)...

Torque Affair > SurvivedAPintoCrash 11/13/2015 at 11:46

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perfect car for NYC!

mroulier33 > Torque Affair 11/13/2015 at 12:04

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Please drive a Scion iQ! I wanna see if it fares any better!

Torque Affair > mroulier33 11/13/2015 at 12:17

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Haha...I’ll find one.

EtrnL_Frost > Torque Affair 11/13/2015 at 13:44

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Starring for my similar experience with a Smart Car with that horrible automatic suspension, just north of Chicago.

zedx79 > Torque Affair 11/20/2015 at 09:50

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I’m very happy with my 2016 Mazda6, infotainment system not withstanding. The latest update (55) is buggy. I couldn’t ever imagine driving a Smart car.

DetroitMuscle > Torque Affair 11/20/2015 at 10:05

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I bought a Smart on a whim and found it to be much as described,although my own opinion is that it was fun to drive.I sold it soon afterward just because I could make a small profit.My wife absolutely loved it and wasn’t happy that I sold it.She had made a game of seeing how much stuff she could pack into it.I have to admit,it could hold a lot if carefully arranged.The one and only thing I hated about it was when driving,the other drivers almost seemed to be preying on it by tailgating,passing too closely,and generally being bullies.It proved a point that we all know,which is,we are what we drive.

lmacnit > Torque Affair 11/20/2015 at 11:02

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Does anyone say they drive a Ford car? No, they say they drive a Ford, or a VW, or a Porsche. It’s a Smart... Period, end of sentence. If you wish, use the lame-o models for a descriptor, but not Car. You can use Passion or Pure or any of the other goofy model names.

The_Dirtbag > Torque Affair 11/20/2015 at 12:10

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You forgot uphill both ways in the snow!

faaaaq > Torque Affair 11/20/2015 at 13:12

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Im thinking of getting one soonish, actually. But only if I can find one in decent shape for a sweet price, so I can afford the biggest turbo available. A cheap turbo kit boosts the HP by 130%. A teenie tiny RWD car with way more HP than it deserves? Sounds liek a fun little toy (ABSOLUTELY NOT a DD, tho)

Ceric Neesh > Torque Affair 11/20/2015 at 14:09

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That’s pretty much my entire plan for moving up north. Throw a Hayabusa engine in it, have multiple sets of tires (since the tires for this size are pretty cheap), and add additional insulation to the car. That way I can keep my snow/ice tires for my Mustang in good shape for longer, and still be able to get around town and make short trips to other cities. Plus the interior cage is actually pretty impressive if you’ve seen it in action.

dannyzabolotny > Torque Affair 11/20/2015 at 14:22

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It’s amazing to see how much a new Smart car costs. They’re ludicrously expensive for how crappy the car is. They start at like $16,000 new, meanwhile you could get a used Lexus LS for less than that and roll around like a king in your reliable luxury barge.

kstokes > Torque Affair 12/01/2015 at 02:34

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To each his own. I had a white Fortwo Cabrio for about a year as a company car. LOVED it. Tearing through the city with the top down and roof rails out was a blast! Totally experiential, massive novelty, lots of fun!